Mentors in our lives

Today I read this article written by Melissa Kong “Find an Amazing Mentor“, it’s about importance of having a mentor. And I instantly start thinking about my mentor. My mentor is incredible – she guided me thru difficult situations and she gave me very incisive and smart advises.

We all have mentors – our parents were the first ones, then we found the help we needed in our close friends who were just a little more experienced in everything than we were. Then it was time for our teachers and professors to become our mentors and finally our colleges at the same industry.

Why I love Skype and Facebook

When I moved to States I had to figure out a way to communicate with my family and friends who stayed back home. Snail-mail or a regular email was not enough. So I installed Skype on my PC – it changed everything, it was a life-savior! (here is a little bit information about Skype) could not only talk with my family and friends in real-time but also I could actually see them (unbelievable). Thanks to Skype I can see how my little niece is growing (better this, than nothing), thru Skype I could still feel like a part of the family.

The only back-draw was 10 hour difference between where I was and Lithuania. I could not just sit down in front of my computer and talk to my family any time I wanted. Our conversation would usually happen over the weekend, late at night or the first thing in the morning.

So I had to find another way to communicate with my dear ones – that is how Facebook came into my life (Facebook Factsheet). I not only could post little messages to my friends, I also was able to post pictures to one site (great time-savior), where everyone close to me would see them. And Facebook turned out to be a lot fun by itself.

On Facebook I could see what my friends are up to and who they are talking to. Thanks to Facebook I actually reconnected with a lot of people who I thought I will never find again. I am starting to realize that Facebook can be very useful in my professional life as well. I have met people on-line thru other friends, I learned what those other people do and how we can help each other.

Hats off to Skype and Facebook, for helping me to stay connected.

Got to love a good bargain

Few days ago I went to Costco (a wholesale chain store). After I picked up what I needed, I made my usual stop at the tables with books. I love the “book tables”. Costco has, in my opinion, one of the best choices for the newly released books and of course they have the best prices in town.

I did not buy anything this time, I was strong. At home I have books that are waiting to be read almost a year now. Every time I am close by the book store I will stop by. I will tell myself  that I am there just to browse but I usually leave the store with a purchase.

Even though I buy constantly I do not feel that I am being  extravagant or uneconomical – books in America are fairly affordable. Back in Lithuania they cost a small fortune. Even if I convert Lithuanian currency (Litas) to the american dollar, books are very expensive there. Frankly, I cannot really afford to buy books in Lithuania.

Older, soft-cover book prices can start anywhere from 15 to 30 dollars. I remember one year I got a present from my brother – it was a compilation of the best 100 movies of the last century. Accidently he left the sticker on the back cover – it cost him a 150 litas, which in American currency would be close to 60 dollars. If I would have to pay that much for books here, I do not think that I could read as much as I do – it would be just too expensive. Got to love a good bargain.

Dream that we all probably share

If I might be so bold, I will state  that most of us have one dream in common – to travel the world. I have visited few countries in Europe and I have traveled a little bit inside the United States and I still have a few dozen of places in mind that I would like to visit.

Oh, how I miss real French croissants – fresh out of the oven, they are divine. I have not been able to find anything even remotely close outside France. I fell in love with a southern  region of France, one of the friendliest people live over there. Germany was fun, I learned two very important things about germans – they know their techno music and they know how to trow a party. Switzerland Alps are breath-taking, and that country does have the best chocolate in the world. Prague, the gem of the Czech Republic, mesmerized me. And I have to mention Amsterdam, one of the friendliest and eco-conscious cities that I have visited. And of course I have mention Amsterdam’s love for the parades.

When I was growing up, every summer our whole family took a month-long vacation. We would go camping, or to visit family, or we would go to the Baltic sea. Traveling was a natural thing to do for us. So when I met people in the US, who not even once left their hometown, I was a little stunned. In my opinion, it is the saddest thing that anyone can tell me about themselves. I think everyone should be open to the other cultures, customs and just the change of pace. There is so much to see, so much to learn and so much enjoy out there, so I would strongly encourage everyone to take an advantage of all the deals that traveling companies are offering, pick a destination and just go.

Do not be afraid about the language barrier, most of the people speak English and all the people know sign and signal language. If you afraid that the food will be too weird for your taste, I can ensure you that a hot dog in States is a hot dog everywhere else – I guarantee you will find something that will satisfy your tummy. The people you’ll meet, the places you’ll visit and experiences you’ll have – these things are worth to go out of the comfort zone for. Travel – be open.

Goals that are important to me

When we get up in a morning we know what we are about to do, what errands we have to run, what tasks we have to finish, so in other words – we have goals for that day. And we are though that we ough to have a goal for our life – to have a final destination in every sense of this word.

In theory it sounds like a right thing to do – to have a goal.  But what if you one of those undecided? What if, that no matter how hard you look for that one and only answer, you still not sure about anything? I do feel sometimes like that. I don’t know if where I live right now is the place where I want to live in 5 years from now, I don’t know if the work I do is the work I want to do for the rest of my life, and sometimes I even wonder if i want to be married again.

It is scary to be so undecided but on the other hand is also liberating. I don’t have an agenda to follow, I am not tight to anything specific. If anything better and greater turns up on my path I will take it because I  will not be going against any of my ideas and promises. I will just follow my heart and my passion.

Don’t get me wrong, I am not one of those people who changes jobs every six months, who have tons and tons of friends and buddies. It’s just not who I am, I consider myself to be a realistic and levelheaded person.  My life is pretty stable –  I work for the company that appreciates me and helps me in any way possible, my friend’s circle is pretty tight – they are the people who I have known for years and as far as living conditions, well, I can always upgrade later.

I left Lithuania without a specific goal to stay in United States but it happened and it is ok. I gave up a lot and also I gained a lot. I learned a lot and had to grow up very fast but if I would have followed my initial goal – to visit States for a few shorts months and then go back home, I would have missed out on a lot of experiences that I would never ever would want to give it up.

The only goals that I am sure about are – live to the fullest, take chances and learn as much as I possibly can. The rest, I can figure out later.

Adaptation

My mom graduate with an engineer’s diploma and right now she is the head of the finance department at the local Credit Union in my hometown. In her life she had to make few adjustments, she had to adapt to the new circumstances. So she started out as an engineer, then she went into retail, after that for a short period of time she was involved in education and teaching and right now she is very comfortable in a finance/accounting sphere.

Most of these changes happened because life happened. My mom never planned to leave her engineer’s work and go into retail or teaching and definitely she never thought that she would be earning her living working for a small Credit Union whose primary clients are farmers and ranchers.

Adaptation is the key, we have to learn not to be afraid to accept the challenges that life throws at us. Good attitude and determination helps a lot. Of course if we suddenly lose a job, big bottle of  something strong would help at first. But once the initial chock is gone, we have to figure out what are we going to do now, what our next step will be.

No matter how big or small the change is, if we are prepared to face it with our head held high, we’ll be alright. Our fear is the biggest nemesis of the adaptation. If we are planning to succeed at something we have to cast the fear aside and find a way so that this new situation can be beneficial to us.

Talk to the people who cares for you, do a lot of research on whatever the issue you are faced with, seek advices from those who had similar experience. To adapt is to move forward and to be fearless.

University – the most interesting and the most frustrating chapters in my life (2 of 2)

So I started my studies. From the first day I found two very unattractive points at my school (and it is probably true for most of the Universities out there).

My first point was questionable usefulness of some of the classes. I went to the classes not knowing what to expect and I found a very interesting trend for myself – first half of my classes were useless and the second half I was sorry to be done with. I could not believe some of the subjects that we had to study – art, natural science. They were my high school material.

It was frustrating that I would have  waist my time and money for something that I have already learned 6-7 years ago. But I was told by my advisor that this is a way to ensure that I will get a well-rounded education. I felt frustrated and angry. And on top of it, my fellow classmates had the same attitude – neither I, nor they wanted to be there. I felt sorry for those instructors who had to teach a group of individuals, who from the first days of the semester had a bad predisposition.

Another phenomena that I discovered were so-called ” helicopter” parents.

Those are the overprotective parents. No matter what age their children are, the “helicopter” parents are involved in all the aspects of their lives.

I was standing in line at the Cashiers office (mind you, it was before I knew that I could pay for my tuition online) to pay my fees. And the lady standing in front of me was talking on her mobile, so unwillingly I heard most of here conversation. She was making ALL the arrangements for her son – she was making sure that his dorm room was ready, she was asking someone what is the best day to buy books on campus, where is a good place to eat that is close to his dormitories, she wanted to find out what online accounts he should open and how she could also access them. I could not believe what I was hearing – this lady in front of me, was orchestrating her son’s life.

I believe that University is the place where young individuals should learn how to take care of themselves, become independent and learn what is responsibility. I guess not all of us have the same philosophy.

University – one of most interesting and one the most frustrating chapters in my life (1of 2)

I was attending a local university in Lithuania before I moved to the United States. I finished 3 years over there, so I guess you could call me a junior.  Once I came here I took few years off – I got preoccupied with other issues. I had to figure out what is a Social Security and how does it works, I had to learn what is a Credit Score and how could I get one, I had to get familiar with a banking systems, I had to improve my English and I had to start supporting myself in a foreign country. So say the least, studies were not a number one priority for me for about 3 years.

Once I got comfortable and decided  that I want to finish my degree, I talked to my friends who were attending local university or had graduate from one. I asked them all sorts of questions – from how hard is to study in America to are the most of the professors are friendly?

I was scared to start my studies here.  The system was very different from what I was used to. In Lithuania once you get accepted, admission and records office sets up a schedule for all the classes you would have to take in order to get a diploma. In States a lot of decisions were left in the hands of the students. Of course there were always advisers close by but ultimately students had to figure out their own schedules, pace, what classes and (unheard of  in Lithuania) which instructors to take.

It was so new and confusing. After I got the hang of it I started to enjoy this system. I must admit though, it did not hurt that my employers were very flexible and allowed me to attend the classes during the work hours. So this part I enjoyed……

Cars, Trucks, SUV’s and even more trucks..

I got my driver license when I was 18 and I drove my brothers older Honda Civic. I drove a small car and most of my friends  (if they had that luxury to even have a car) drove small cars. For the most part we all used public transportation.

In America situation was different – what I saw driving thru the streets were myriad of big vehicles – pick-ups, SUV’s and even more pick-ups. I have never in my life have seen so much heavy machinery on one street. People love their big cars here.

In the driveways, in the dealership parking lots, in the grocery store parking lots – big SUVs and trucks dominate area. I admired them at first and even speculated when I could afford a nice SUV for myself, but once I had to fill up a tank for one of those baby’s, my love  disappeared. Once I spent my first winter here and I saw how rude (nicely put) for the most part are those who drive big trucks or SUV’s, my love disappeared. The Heavy Duty Pick-up or Big Size SUV started to associate with rich and unconsidered.

In Lithuania gas prices are double what they are in States, but I still could not afford to own one of these monsters here. They look cool and all, but is it worth it?

For the safety? For the cargo space?  For the prestige? Are these are the reasons why they are in a such high demand? For many people who live here – apparently yes, and a very strong yes. But I am not so sure for myself. I do not understand this benefit and I will probably never will.

The first impressions

When I came to US, I was blown away about the people I meet. We flew thru Houston, TX and already there, in the airport, I knew that I am in a completely different world.

The relaxed attitude. For the first time in my life I saw so many women and (especially) man in flip-flops. I have never seen so many tank-tops.

I was though my whole life that when I am traveling I need to wear my “practical” cloths and shoes. My mom always tought us that we need to be ready for anything – bad weather, broken transportation and especially for unforseen rendezvous with a nosy aunty that likes to gossip about our family. Me and my brother always had to presentable.

From that first moment, I loved that people were not afraid to carry their oversized pillows into a plain, I loved that they took their coffees and sandwiches on board. I loved that they were talking and shouting to each other from across the terminal. I loved the playrooms and the smoking rooms that were there for the convenience of the travels.

In Lithuania, those 8 years ago,  airports were not so joyous. Even if people were traveling for their vacation – airport was a pretty serious place. Travelers were properly dressed, they wore comfortable shoes (preferably something with laces) and there was no excitement in the air.

That first stop in Houston, TX gave me a very good impression about the US. People and their relaxed attitude – how cool is that.